318 Youth: Big Wednesday 8-28-13 "The Hour Of Darkness"

318 Youth: Big Wednesday 8-28-13 "The Hour Of Darkness"

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Fear of Failing

It's weird to think I am afraid of failing cause I fail at stuff all the time... cooking, eating healthy, keeping secrets, the list goes on and on. But here lately I've  really struggled with failing in some new leadership roles. I currently coach Volleyball and at the start of every new season I start stressing about how unqualified I am compared to other coaches. I probably spend 20% of my day worried about what parents think of me. The result of all this worry and fear do NOTHING!!!!
Now, on top of my annual vball coaching fear I have added the fear of failing as a youth leader. Josh has been given the opportunity to lead the youth at Pine Ridge, and when your married you and your spouse are one... So, YOU know what that means,... ME TOO.  Just saying I am a "pastors wife" makes me want to hide in bed and never go out in public. Boy, I thought I was unqualified to be a volleyball coach.... this doesn't even come close. And the worst part is I have been stressing over this since May and we don't even start till Mid August... Talk about a waste...
Now that you know what I am afraid of here is what I think the Lord is teaching me through this... HE LOVES ME... Deep stuff, Right?

 I have always considered it kinda corny when Pastors talk about how much God loves his children..."Jesus loves the little children ... all the children of the world" that plays in my head when I hear sermons on God's love. But what I didn't realize until last Wednesday (thanks to Pastor Deharts sermon on Rival!!) is that He loves ME. yep, I said it !! Jesus loves him some Big Al! and through that understanding I should be content. The creator of the universe loves me and that's all that matters... Jeremiah 1:5 says that He knew all about me before I knew me. and... that He has holy plans for me. 

So, my new goal is to long for His love, not because I need to be rescued, or want to be rich, or blessed, or any of the awesome blessings that come from being a child of the King. But Simply because His love is all that I need.

Just wanted to post something

uhhhh Mondays stink and i eat way too much on Mondays... I'm one of those who eat when I am bored... I didn't get up and workout this morning before going to work and that always makes my day longer. I'm honestly having the Monday blues.
I did however get up and devo today! It was about idols. It's from the book of Isaiah where he is fussing at the Israelites for following the gods of their neighbors. This morning it hit home with me cause i was down about not hitting the gym... the main reason i go to the gym is me not wanting to get fat.... it should be b/c i wanna be a temple and take care of the good health God has given me. But instead it's about me trying to look good in today's world.
I am too consumed looking at my neighbors ( fashion blogs, pinterest) thinking oohh if i just lost 10 pds id feel great... Well i know thats a lie cause im always gonna battle healthy eating and exercise.
The real answer is i need to be satisfied in the Lord. I need to spend less time on the fashion blogs and more time in prayer. Less time shopping and more time serving... don't you just love how no matter how much you grow there is always more room to grow. And my fav "if your not going forward then you are going backward" #truth #startswithme

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